


Despise

by topumasum



Category: BUCK-TICK, LUNA SEA, X JAPAN
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Crossroads Deals & Demons, Forced Bonding, Forced Relationship, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-23 14:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17684852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topumasum/pseuds/topumasum
Summary: A demon, Yoshiki, set his sights on Atsushi, a human, for reason no one knows. Yoshiki will do anything to have him, even kill the ones he loves.





	1. Chapter 1

_Atsushi held his breath as his eyes flickered open. He had that feeling once again. The feeling of another presence_ _in the room with him, watching him as he slept._ _It took a few seconds before his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He scanned the room and saw_ _nothing out of the ordinary._

_"This is what he wants me to think." He blinked once and pushed back_ _the covers of his bed. His feet touched the cold floor as he stood up._ _A breeze rolled into the room and he looked at the door. It was tightly closed and he knew_ _for sure no draft could get past it. He spun on his heel towards the window and gasped. It was_ _open and the curtains were fluttering at the sides._

  
_Atsushi gasped and moved closer to the window. He gathered the courage to say_ _something, even though his heart was pounding against his ribs._

_"If...anyone's in here, just show_ _yourself."_

_He heard a chuckle behind him and his breath caught in his throat. A sweet, almost feminine voice, sang. "You are so amusing, Acchan."_

  
_He felt something touching his hair, and someone breathing on his neck. "You really are beautiful._ _"_

  
_He quickly turned around and didn't see anyone there._

_"I'm behind you, Acchan."_

He shouted out and the lights turned on. He was still in his bed and leaning over him was his good friend, Sugizo.

  
"Atsushi!" he exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

Atsushi sat up and rubbed his forehead. "Yes...I'm fine." He looked at the window and noticed that it was closed. "Just a really bad dream."

Atsushi turned to Sugizo and saw that he still looked worried. He assured his friend. "I'm honestly fine, okay? You don't need to worry."

Sugizo kept staring at him for few seconds and moved away silently.  
_  
_


	2. Chapter 2

Atsushi groggily opened his eyes, unable to sleep at all after the nightmare. He sat up, feeling the sleep grabbing him again, but he had to resist. Right then, Sugizo knocked on the door and called him.

"Are you awake, Atsushi? I made breakfast. You didn't eat anything last night."

He was correct, he didn't have dinner last night. How could he? The sickening feeling followed him all the way home and ruined his appetite. He sighed and answered.

"I'll be out in a minute."  He dragged himself off the bed and freshened himself.

After he showered, he looked himself in the mirror, noticing the dark circles under his eyes. He looked worse than before but he had to fight this.

"It's time I move on and find a job. I can do it this time."

He put on his dark attire and left the room. Sugizo was already serving breakfast on the table. This guy...he had been taking care of him ever since Atsushi moved in. Not once Sugizo made him feel like a burden. Sugizo refused to abandon him.

* * *

 

_Atsushi was distraught after his employer fired him for something he didn't even do. Why was this happening to him? Misfortunes after misfortune followed him. He was on the verge of eviction for accusations of not paying rent when he did! Everyone was turning away from him as if he did something wrong. He couldn't figure out the reason for their sudden changes towards him. His co-workers, friends and even his girlfriend abandoned him, accusing him to be crazy and doing unacceptable things. Were they conspiring against him or was he really crazy?  
_

_He decided to go to a psychiatrist._

* * *

 

 

"What are you thinking, Atsushi?" Sugizo asked seeing Atsushi lost in thoughts. Atsushi turned to Sugizo and weakly smiled.

"Nothing."

Sugizo didn't believe him. Giving a smile, he asked. "Remember how we met?"

Atsushi forcefully smiled. "Not in the best circumstances. We were on the verge of insanity."

"True, but I am not insane anymore, thanks to you."

"Glad to know that I helped somehow, even though all I have been doing is freeloading on you." Atsushi admitted which prompted Sugizo to grab Atsushi's hand.

"Not at all!" He exclaimed, refusing to agree with Atsushi. "In fact, you're the reason I am well. This is the least I can do for you."

That touched Atsushi's heart. Last time he saw Sugizo, he was on the verge of suicide and now, he was functioning like a proper human being. Sugizo must be right.

Atsushi returned the gesture and smiled genuinely this time. "Thank you, for being there for me."

* * *

 

_The doctor called in the guards as Atsushi moved away from him. The doctor looked angry and disheveled. He ordered the guards to capture him, declaring him insane. Atsushi had no choice but to run out. He hasn't even done anything to the doctor and yet, there he was, accusing him of harming him. He didn't even touch him. He didn't know why he acted that way._

_Finally, away from those guards, he hid somewhere around the city and waited for them to go away. As he rested, a voice crept in._

_"Acchan, you can't get away from me."_

_"Who's there?!" He gasped and looked around. No one. Where did that voice come from?_

_The surrounding finally changed and day turned to night in a second. The crowd disappeared and he was all alone in the city. Seeing this change, his heartbeat increased._

_"What the hell is going on?!"_

_And there it was, the cold fingers on his neck, sliding down his collarbone. He was stunned as a stone but shaking. The breath near his ears made him shiver. His hand made Atsushi face him and for the first time, he saw what the torment looked like._

_A beautiful man with long luscious curls and blood red lips. His sweet face would fool anybody and those eyes would entice everyone. This was the thing who was haunting him--this devil in disguise.  
_

_He dangerous neared Atsushi's lips, almost kissing him and whispered._

_"I want you..."_

_The voice would persuade anyone, after all, it was soft and sensual. However, all it took for Atsushi was one minute before he shouted. "NO!"_

_He freed himself from his grasp and ran off. As soon as he did, night turned to day and the people returned. However, his frantic running caught others' attention. Atsushi wasn't crazy. Now he knew what was truly going on. Someone was after him. He wasn't crazy. It was real...it was very real._

_And it wanted him._


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

 

 

Another interview schedule was crossed off his list. Three months after he moved in with Sugizo, he went through countless interviews, only to be rejected afterwards. Atsushi knew why they were rejecting him. It wasn't because of lack of experience but because the damn demon excreted a disgusting aura behind Atsushi and it affected the people around him. Sugizo was the only exception.

Why though? He wondered numerous times as to why Sugizo wasn't affected by this demon. In fact, the only time when Atsushi saw Sugizo being affected, was when he first met him. Did Atsushi's presence really cure him?

His thoughts were interrupted when someone called him. His eyes almost glistened up with tears when he heard that his application was accepted for the job he applied for.

* * *

 

 

_His landlord didn't have to kick him out, he packed his stuff and left himself. He was tired of trying to reach out to people who dismissed him. Atsushi didn't even know what they were dismissing him about._

_Did the demon make him act crazy? No, that would make others believe that he was mentally ill and would sympathize with him. The doctor's outburst proved that last time._

_Did the demon make him act selfish, then? A healthy man who was being insensitive to others? Perhaps. Because when his girlfriend left him, she accused him of mentally abusing her, reminding her of her traumatic past and cursing her. He would never do that to her because he loved her. It must have been that demon._

_The demon...after seeing his face for the first time, his nightmares became more frequent; his presence more prevalent and his pursuit more predominant. He only spoke of one thing._

_"I want you..."_

_Why didn't he, then? What was he waiting for? If he had the power to turn the world against him, why was he waiting? Could it be that he needed his explicit permission to do so?_

_He was passing the streets and found a bench. Putting the luggage aside, he took a seat, finally letting his legs rest. He needed a place to stay but with the demon behind him, he didn't know what else he could do._

_Atsushi looked around and saw few people, some with families and others either with friends or none. A man was leaning on the railing, a little too close to the edge. It almost felt like he was trying to fall._

_To his dismay, he did. He quickly let himself fall over and the people around him screamed. Atsushi quickly ran to the edge and saw him trying to drown himself. He frantically looked around but saw no guards on the river and none were willing to jump in the cold river._

_Atushi sought no option and jumped himself._

* * *

 

Sugizo was astonished to see so many varieties on the table when he returned home from work. Atushi was still setting the table. Sugizo took a seat and asked. “What’s all this?”

  
“Well..." Atsushi took a seat beside him. "Ever since I moved in, you've been taking care of me. I think it's time that I return the favour."

Sugizo smiled and casually held Atsushi's hand. "You have nothing to return. I am happy to have you by my side."

Atsushi beamed. "Then this will make you happier. I found a job."

Sugizo's smile brightened and he pulled the other for a hug. "This is great! I'm really happy for you."

"Me too and sooner or later I will have my own place and you can finally have your space."

Atsushi expected Sugizo to either smile or tease but he didn't expect Sugizo's smile to die down. "You're thinking of leaving?"

“Shouldn't I?” Atsushi asked. "I think I have troubled you enough."

"But, I don't want you to leave." Sugizo refused to leave his hand. He looked down dauntingly and murmured. "I want you in my life."

Atsushi didn't know what to say but he could see Sugizo struggling internally. Atsushi asked softly. "What's bothering you really?"

Sugizo left the table and just stood apart from him. The feeling was eating him up inside. Atsushi walked to him and touched his shoulder, wanting to comfort the man but Sugizo turned to him and pushed his lips on Atsushi's.

Atsushi was genuinely taken back with this. He had no idea how to respond as Sugizo pulled him closer to his mouth. Atsushi knew his preferences but he never thought of Sugizo this way. Atsushi pushed him away, albeit gently and sadly looked at him.

"Sugizo...you...you're my friend and...I..."

"Don't feel the same." Sugizo finished for him but not aggressively. Sugizo knew Atsushi would never see him this way. He sighed. "I know. Just...don't leave...at least, not now."

Sugizo walked to his room and closed the door quietly, leaving Atsushi feeling worse than ever.


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

 

Atsushi fell back on his bed and sighed. The guilt of pushing him away, killed him inside. He loved Sugizo but not more than a friend. It wasn't because he was a guy, Atsushi knew he was bisexual himself. But because...he just didn't see Sugizo that way. Sugizo was his friend and a family. He didn't want to lose him.

He sighed again and closed his eyes, not wanting to think about it now. However, as soon as he did, he heard his voice.

_“Feeling lonely?”_

His eyes shot open. Atsushi couldn't help but shake in fear. He crouched and pressed his ears so he wouldn't have to hear him. But that only amused the demon. He laughed melodiously in Atsushi's ear, breathing on his exposed neck.

"S-stop. Please stop." Atsushi whimpered. He was tired of this...he was so tired. He was finally making it and he didn't want the demon to ruin it again. The demon laughed again and left but not before leaving a breathy kiss on his neck that made him shiver.

Atsushi opened his eyes but ended up gasping for air.

* * *

_Atsushi didn't know how to respond when the police were commending him for his bravery. He saved a man from drowning and was in the hospital. The man was fine but had few bruises. Atsushi found his name on his ID that he found in his pocket. It was Sugihara._

_The man was young, around his age and quite well-off. He expected his family or friends to arrive soon, however, none did. He wondered why. And when Sugihara woke up, he called for no one else but him, much to Atsushi's surprise._

_"Thank you, for saving me." Sugihara weakly said, none too enthusiastic about his intervention._

_"Don't mention it." Atsushi responded with equal dullness. He wasn't in the mood for his ungratefulness after doing the right thing. He was far too occupied with his own problems. But then, Sugihara asked._

_"Why did you save me?" But not with bitterness, rather genuinely. His curiosity for his actions peaked an interest in Atsushi. Why would he not save him? Was it not the right thing?_

_"Why do you ask?" Atsushi asked softly, wondering why Sugihara would feel this way._

_"Because..." Sugihara looked down. "No one did when I asked."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_Sugihara looked at him, almost teary eyed. "No one believed me when I told them."_

_"Told them what?"_

_"That...someone is after me."_


	5. Chapter 5

Atsushi was expecting Sugizo to greet him at the breakfast table, as he always did. But not this morning. Sugizo looked distressed, quiet and annoyed. He looked sleepless, just like Atsushi. He guessed that his rejection might have caused that, so he carefully approached Sugizo.

"Morning..."

Sugizo briefly looked at him and nodded curtly. "Morning. I'll be leaving early." He took his stuff and left the apartment, without even wishing him luck on his first day. Atsushi's heart sank. He didn't want this to happen. Not feeling like having breakfast, he left for work too.

* * *

_"Please, I don't wanna be alone. Stay with me." Sugihara was on the verge of tears as he grasped onto Atsushi's arm for life. The man had no family or friends and the police considered him a danger to his own life.  
_

_"I suggest that you live with this man. He seems to really like you." The doctor suggested too. In fact, everyone in the hospital urged that he should agree to Sugihara's request, considering that the rent and food would be free. Granted that Atsushi needed a place to stay, but to burden a man who was mentally ill, went against his very nature._

_When Sugihara said that someone was following him, he assumed that it was the same demon. However, it wasn't. He hasn't even seen the demon as Atsushi did. Sugihara was actually sick and he needed help._

_"Maybe for few weeks till I find a job and a place to stay." Atsushi murmured to himself in the bathroom, agreeing to Sugihara's request._

* * *

 

Atsushi's shift ended for the say and he was on his way home. On the way, Atsushi decided to have a cup of coffee from a stall. Taking the coffee, he inhaled the delicious smell. It has been a long time since he had office coffee. It had an aroma of its own and it reminded him of Sugizo's homemade ones.

Atsushi sighed, remembering Sugizo. He hoped that he was okay. Rejection hurt and he knew due to his past experience. But he didn't blame her because he knew what caused her to leave him and it wasn't her fault. She had her own inner demons that she tried to suppress.

"Oh Minako..."

His phone suddenly rang. He took it out and recognized the number. It was Minako's number. He wondered why she would call him all of a sudden, but a smile came up his face, hoping that she would want to patch things up.

"Minako?" He smilingly spoke her name.

_"A-Acchan?"_ Her voice whimpered on the other line.

"Minako, how are you? Are you okay? Do you need something?" He was so excited and worried about her at the same time.

_"Acchan..Acchan..."_ She suddenly started crying.

"Minako, what's wrong? What happened? Tell me, please." Atsushi couldn't bear to hear her cry. She went through too much in her life.

_"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I tried...I really tried. I had no choice but to let you go. I had to..let you go."_

"What are you talking about?"

" _Acchan...I know what haunts you..."_


	6. Chapter 6

Atsushi's face drained when he heard that. He shakily asked. "What are you saying?"

_"I know...that it wasn't you when you said those things to me. It wasn't you...but I...I had to save you...so I had to let you go...please, don't hate me."_

Atsushi's breath hitched but he found the courage to tell her. "I don't hate you, Minako. I never did. Tell me where you are now. I'll come and talk, okay. Just tell me where you are."

_"I can't...this is goodbye."_

"What? No, Minako! Why?"

_"I have to...I can't let him hurt you anymore."_

_"_ Minako?" He panicked. "Minako!"

_"Don't give up, Acchan...Goodbye."_

The line ended, almost as his heart did. Atsushi threw his coffee away and frantically called a cab to drive to Minako's place. He prayed that the demon didn't do anything to her. She had been through too much. After a violent sexual assault, she shielded herself from the rest of the world. He was the first person whom she opened up to. And he cared about her more than anyone.

He wasn't just anxious, but also angry. The demon forced her to leave him, to save him. He could only imagine what she felt when she had to lie to hate him and blame him for something he didn't do. It must have hurt her to pretend to hate someone who cared for her. To save him, she had to sacrifice her image, their friendship and their relationship. All to save him.

He arrived at her house but was met with a small crowd. He heard some commotion among the crowd and quickly recognised Minako's neighbours. He quickly ran to them and the neighbour recognised him.

"Inoue! What happened? Where's Minako?"

Inoue bit his own lips, trying not to cry in front of his wife, who was herself crying. Before answering him, Inoue comforted his wife and asked her to go inside. After she left, Inoue sadly answered.

"Atsushi...Minako...she passed away."

Atsushi's heart dropped. He couldn't speak or ask how or why. He didn't know what to say. The woman he loved and cared had died and he couldn't feel anything. He only managed to whisper.

"W-what? How?"

"She committed suicide last night. My wife found her this morning. The ambulance took her body about an hour ago."

"L-last night?" No, that didn't sound right. Because, she just called him right now. How could it be? Inoue continued.

"That's what the paramedics said."

Atsushi started shaking as he fearfully looked at his phone. He slowly checked the incoming calls and it did not have her call record. She never called him. It didn't make sense.

"But, how are you here? We were about to call you. Did someone else tell you?" Inoue asked him, wondering who told him because they found her this morning and none of them called him yet.

Atsushi didn't answer him. His mind was far too occupied with the fact that Minako called him...after her death. He didn't know whether his mind was playing tricks or whether it was real. 

He looked at Inoue again, unable to utter a single word. The demon got her. The bastard killed her.

"Atsushi, are you okay?" Inoue asked him. "Maybe you want to come inside, have something."

Atsushi didn't want to. He didn't want to see how she killed herself. He didn't want to entertain that scenery at all. He managed to shake his head, resisting the tears, and leave before he broke down. Inoue called after him but he didn't respond.

Atsushi walked away in dread. Minako was his only solace even after he lost everything, but now he even lost that. The demon took everything away from him.

His phone suddenly rang and he slowly looked down at it. It was an unknown number but something told him that he knew the caller. He picked it up and put it to his ear.

_"Are you ready?"_

Atsushi knew what he meant. He was testing his patience with loss and death. He will not take him until he gave himself up and now that the demon crossed the line, there was no way he would do so now.

"You listen to me, demon. No matter what you do, I will not give up. I will never give myself to you. So go back to the hell you came from."

The one on the other line, was silent. Only his breath came through the line, but then, he spoke. " _You will be Mine."_

The line ended and Atsushi's knees gave up. Even when he said those words bravely, his insides shook terribly. He was terrified of this demon.


	7. Chapter 7

"They had one job, one." Sugizo muttered under his breath after it started to rain. Seeing the untouched breakfast on the table, he realised that Atsushi hadn't eaten. He wondered why he hadn't returned yet and right at that time, the doorbell rang.

"He's back." He swiftly opened the door and saw the soaking man. Panicking, Sugizo quickly pulled him inside. "Atsushi, what happened? Why are you all drenched? Didn't you take the bus? Never mind, go and change now."

Sugizo turned to the table again to clean it up but noticed that Atsushi hadn't moved. He turned to Atsushi again, who looked lost in his thoughts. Sugizo touched his shoulder. "Atsushi?"

Sugizo didn't expect the actions that followed his question. Atsushi pulled Sugizo and embraced him tightly. Sugizo was shocked because it was so sudden and out of the blue. He heard Atsushi murmuring in his ear. "I won't leave you. I will never leave you. Just, don't leave me. Don't die. Please, don't die."

"Atsushi, what are you talking about?" Sugizo pulled away and held his face. Atsushi's tears shocked him. "What's wrong?" 

Atsushi didn't answer. He just rested his head on Sugizo's shoulder and lightly hugged him. Sugizo didn't ask more and let him rest. He just wished to comfort him for the time being, as Atsushi did once.

* * *

_It was Atsushi's first day at Sugihara's. Atsushi did not understand the extent of Sugihara's illness until he saw his apartment. While it was elegant and spacious, it was a mess. The floor was covered with bottles and cans, the fridge had nothing but alcohol and clothes were everywhere. Atsushi figured that he wasn't living a functional life despite having a great job with good pay. So, he made it his mission to clean this place first.  
_

_After finishing cleaning, he decided to make dinner but Sugizo refused to eat and went straight to bed after coming back from work. Atsushi could see how tired the man was as he slumped on the bed like a dead weight. He resumed making dinner anyway with the intention of feeding him. By the time he was done, Sugihara was already asleep. He sighed and decided to leave his portions for tomorrow but when he was about to leave, he heard Sugihara whimpering in his sleep._

_Atsushi got closer to his bed and waited but his whimpers didn't end. He started sweating in his sleep and mumbling. His face scrunched in sleep as if he was in pain and started sobbing._

_"Sugihara?" Atsushi held his hand, being all too familiar with this. Minako went through the same every night._

_Sugihara gasped awake and shook all over. Seeing Atsushi near him, he broke down. He wasn't ashamed of crying in front of him. Grasping Atsushi's hand, he mumbled. "Stay with me. Please, just stay with me."_

_Atsushi, pitying the man decided to stay the night with him._

* * *

Sugizo lay the man on his bed and let him sleep. Atsushi looked far too fatigued to stay awake even another minute. When Atsushi fully fell asleep, Sugizo decided to leave the room but something stopped him. He turned and sat on the bed beside Atsushi's sleeping body. He looked at the beautiful man in front of him, temptations growing inside him. He gulped nervously, trying to resist, but couldn't. He neared Atsushi's face, wanting to capture the lips, but he quivered. 

Something was stopping him, something inside. It wasn't like last night, when he just casually kissed him. No, this was different. Very different. This was a fight of another nature.

He wanted to do more than just kiss him. His imagination crossed all borders, stripping him mentally and taking his body for his own. Blood rushed in his veins and cheeks. This disgusted him. Finally grasping his sanity, he abruptly left the room.

_And the demon observed._

 


	8. Chapter 8

_Atsushi knew where he was. He knew that it was merely a nightmare, but it was where he was most vulnerable. Unlike reality, he had no control here. However, instead of panicking, he remained stern. He lost the woman he loved and he was on the verge of losing a friend. He couldn't bear that loss again._

_As expected, he felt the cold breath on his exposed neck. Atsushi merely flinched but resisted from reacting. He didn't want to excite the demon._

_"Playing hard, are we?" His voice echoed and he giggled. "My dear Acchan, how long till you give up?"_

_"Never." Atsushi gritted and another laughter followed._

_"Feisty. But how many would have to die before you surrender yourself to me?"_

_"No one else will die." Although a brave answer, even he doubted its veracity._

_"Really?" And the demon appeared in front of him, finally in full form. His hair had changed from long to neckline short. His features were sharper and his eyes brighter. The suddenness caught Atsushi off guard. He didn't expect the demon to appear so blatantly and openly, killing the doubts Atsushi had for months. He was real, very real and the intimidation ceased to exist. But the resentment strengthened as the memory of Minako surfaced. This bastard caused her to die._

_The demon continued. "And how are you going to do that?"_

_Atsushi had no answer to that. He didn't know how he was going to protect anyone from the demon. He doubted himself now, more than ever._

_Seeing the uncertain look on Atsushi's face, the demon chuckled and came closer. Atsushi wanted to step away but found his body stuck. 'Shit' was all he could think, allowing the demon to raise his hand and touch Atsushi's face gently._

_"So strong-willed and yet, naive. So adamant and yet, foolish." The demon neared Atsushi's face and to his lips. "But sooner or later, you will come to me."_

_The demon softly brushed his lips over Atsushi's before disappearing..._

* * *

 

Atsushi shook awake and looked around. It was already morning. He sat up on the bed, recalling yesterday's incident--Minako's suicide. Atsushi's eyes burned again, unable to accept that she really passed away. The burden was too big for him to bear.

He heard noises from the kitchen, indicating that Sugizo was still in the apartment. He quickly left the bed and opened the bedroom door. Sugizo turned around, with a slightly different expression than Atsushi was familiar with. Sugizo didn't greet him.

"Sugizo..." Atsushi closed the door behind him and approached the other one, who looked a little apprehensive. Atsushi could guess few reasons, either because of his rejection or the demon was playing the same trick he played on Minako. He continued. "I have to talk to you."

Sugizo put the food on the table and avoided looking at him. "Not now, Atsushi. I have to go to work."

"Sugizo, please." Atsushi grabbed Sugizo's hand, surprising the other one. Atsushi could feel the stress in Sugizo's body, which he felt odd about because he wasn't this uncomfortable before. Nevertheless, Atsushi tried to ease him. "Someone very close to me died yesterday and I'm in no condition to bear this suffering alone. I know that things aren't the same anymore, but I still love you and I don't want to lose you."

Sugizo looked down, not wanting to face those eyes and murmured. "You're not...losing me. That's why I asked you not to leave..."

"I'm not talking about that." Atsushi cut him off, wanting to make this as clear as possible. "If nothing feels right or if I don't seem like myself, I want you to know that it's not me. I want you to know that...I'm still inside there somewhere and I want you to seek me out."

"W-what are you talking about?" Sugizo looked unnerved by Atsushi's ramblings. Atsushi brought Sugizo's hand to his chest; Sugizo felt his heartbeat with blushing cheeks.

"I don't want you to lose faith in me." When he said that, he expected Sugizo to assure him that he wasn't going to. But he didn't expect Sugizo to wriggle his hand out of Atsushi's. Sugizo looked rather grim, almost angrily flustered. He hastily picked up his stuff and mumbled.

"I have to go to work." And just left, leaving Atsushi shattered.


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

 

"Atsushi, I'm going in the back for some smoke and coffee, want to join me?" A female colleague asked Atsushi as the lunch break hit. With a weak smile, Atsushi nodded and they went into the storage. While the woman made the coffee, Atsushi's mind drifted off.

Although he was devastated that Sugizo brushed him off, he was now sure, more than ever, that his rejection and apprehension stemmed from the demon's trick. It was the same with Minako's situation when she rejected him to save him. But now that he knew, he would not make the same mistake again. He will not leave Sugizo and he will persuade him to be beside him.

"You okay, Atsushi?" The woman asked handing him the coffee. He looked at her and smiled weakly.

"Yes, I'm okay." He took the coffee and murmured a thanks. The woman took a seat opposite and sipped her coffee while Atsushi sipped his. She noticed his face and asked.

"What's bothering you?"

"Huh?" He looked at her and lied. "Nothing."

"Atsushi, the concern on your face is very apparent. Something must be bothering you. Maybe sharing will help?" She suggested in a question. Atsushi sighed, giving up arguing. Perhaps another friend might help. In fact, she looked around the same age as Minako, so he might feel more comfortable.

"Someone I loved, died yesterday."

"Oh no." She looked at him with a serious expression. "Do you want to leave early today?"

That was kind of her to ask, he thought. Because she considered his priorities but he shook his head, not wanting to face his failure to protect her. "I'd rather not. I don't think I can. I failed to protect her."

"Why do you say that? It was beyond your control." She said, which he agreed with but the guilt outweighed his logic.

"Perhaps, but I could have done more. The demons she was fighting..." Atsushi sighed, fully aware that she wouldn't believe in the actual existence of a demon. "I should have known."

"Oh..." She understood now that it wasn't a natural death. It was suicide. "I wonder what led her to this."

Atsushi looked at her again, suddenly seeing some resemblance to Minako. She had a similar facial structure and expression. However, she looked strong-willed, something Atsushi never saw in Minako. That made him at ease and he felt comfortable enough to share about Minako.

"She was violated when I found her." He looked at his coffee. "After taking her to the hospital I found out that she had no one. It made me so sad that..."

"That you decided to stay with her?" The woman guessed and he nodded.

"She went berserk when she woke up. She tried killing herself before the doctors sedated her. Their option was to send her to an asylum, which I couldn't bear to see her in. So, I decided to take care of her. I vouched to check up on her and keep her company alongside the therapists."

"How did it go at first?" She asked, genuinely interested.

"She was apprehensive at first, not wanting me to touch her or be near her. But with time, she opened up and started trusting me. We became very good friends and that developed into a relationship."

The woman looked a little confused for some reason and that prompted Atsushi to ask. "What is it?"

"Sorry...I'm just having a little trouble understanding. You said you two started dating. How...I mean...did you two become intimate or..."

"Oh." Atsushi blushed and clarified. "No, I uh...I didn't even...I didn't want to trigger anything so I didn't even initiate. In fact, I wasn't even thinking about it."

"Did she initiate, thought?"

Atsushi looked down and exhaled. "She tried few times but I didn't let her go further."

She cocked her head aside. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I thought she was only doing this to make me happy." he shrugged. "I didn't want her to force herself."

"And yet you never took the first step?" She stood up and put the cup away. "Sounds to me that you never wanted it."

"Excuse me?" Atsushi frowned.

"You were never in love with her."

"How..." he didn't know what to say. But her sentence instigated an anger in his heart. "How dare you?"

"You weren't in love with her." she repeated.

"I was!" He angrily exclaimed, without understanding why he was answering to her. "I was there when she needed me and was heartbroken when she left me. Why will I not love her?"

"Don't misunderstand me. I never said you didn't love her."  She smiled uncannily. "You took care of her, you cared about her and you definitely loved her. But you were not in love with her. You never wanted her and she probably realized it. This might have led her to..."

"Shut up!" Atsushi stood up before she could finish. His heart was beating angrily, offended that she was blaming Minako's death on him. His coworker's smile turned sad and pathetic, as if she pitied him.

"You were never in love with Minako."

"How do you know her name?" His sight blurred suddenly and his grip on the cup loosened. The cup fell out of his hands as he felt his vision spinning. He tried to hold onto something but couldn't. The last thing he saw was his coworker turning into Minako. She was crying.

"You never loved me."

And everything turned black.

* * *

 

"Atsushi? Atsushi, are you okay?"

It was his coworker's voice. Atsushi slowly opened his eyes and found her and few others staring at him worriedly. He carefully sat up and looked at his coworker, feeling slightly odd. The woman was wearing a different dress than he remembered and there was only one cup of coffee which was on the floor. This has happened far too many times to him to misunderstand circumstances. She was never there with him.

"Atsushi?" She called again.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm okay." He sighed. "Just a little dizzy. What about you? Did you just come in?"

"Yeah." She looked at the rest and back at him. "Your shift ended anyway. I think you should go home."

Atsushi didn't argue. He merely nodded and stood up with the help of his colleagues. He soon packed his things and left work, feeling heavy headed and slightly stressed. He slowly walked and passed a familiar place. He stopped and looked over. It was where Atsushi found Sugizo and rescued him. With Sugizo's memory, came the kiss and his confession.

Atsushi buried his face in his hand, feeling trapped. Sugizo looked so heartbroken when he rejected him. Did Minako feel the same? He always thought that he was in love. But now, recalling all those memories, Atsushi doubted whether he loved her at all. The demon managed to put that suspicion in his heart.

"No." He angrily muttered. He refused to accept it. He refused to acknowledge such thing. He knew that he loved Minako and no one was going to challenge it.

_"And what about poor Sugizo?"_

Atsushi frowned and replied strongly. "Nothing will happen to him."

_"We will see about that."_

The voice vanished but a fear lingered in his heart. Atsushi felt more restless than ever. He didn't waste anymore time and rushed home.  


	10. Chapter 10

He called Sugizo's phone few times in the taxi, but each time, he found the line busy. He knew that Sugizo was still at work and he understood that this was inconvenient for the other one. But something in his heart warned him of the impending doom. He didn't want to lose Sugizo as he had lost Minako. So, he texted him, urging him to call when he finished work. Perhaps his desperation tone in the message would make him. 

The sun had already set when he arrived home. He expected the apartment to be empty but surprisingly, he saw light coming from underneath the door. Sugizo was home.

Atsushi rang the bell and Sugizo opened immediately, smiling at him. "Hey, welcome home."

Atsushi was rather taken back by his sudden change of attitude, but he managed to respond. "Good to be home."

Sugizo returned to the kitchen, allowing Atsushi to enter. He closed the door behind him and noticed Sugizo cooking. He put his coat and bag away, asking. "Um...how are you?"

"Me?" He looked at him briefly before looking back at the stove. "Good. I'm in the mood for pasta. Why don't you go and freshen up?"

"Uh...let me help." Atsushi approached Sugizo but Sugizo playfully pushed him.

"No, you'll ruin my pasta sauce with your spoiled Sake." He chuckled. "You get cleaned up and rest a little, Acchan."

Atsushi sighed and gave up arguing, glad that he was okay. His mood had also brightened, which he was grateful for, but it was a little odd...too odd. Something seemed not right. Something was not right.

Atsushi slowly turned to Sugizo who was still cooking. His mind played again and again whether this was real or a trick. And in the end, he felt the warmth from his face fading.

"Sugizo?"

"Hmm?" He didn't look back.

"What did you just call me?"

"Huh? What?" Sugizo finally looked back obliviously.

"You called me...Acchan. You never called me Acchan."

"Of course, I did. I...?" Sugizo's face paled, realising that he never called him Acchan. He always called him Atsushi. He slowly looked at the stove and carefully turned it off, still expressionless.

"Sugizo?" Atsushi took a step back, not wanting to believe this.

A menacing smile broke on Sugizo's face as Atsushi shook his head in despair. "No..."

Sugizo's face changed and no longer remained the friend Atsushi knew. It was His face.

"Very clever, Acchan. I must say that I'm impressed." Even his attire changed. He leaned on the kitchen counter and observed Atsushi intently.

"Where is he?" Atsushi gritted.

"Somewhere where he can't distract us." He casually took the Sake bottle and poured himself a drink. Unable to tolerate the demon's callousness, Atsushi marched and grabbed his collar.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO SUGIZO?!"

Instead of panicking, Yoshiki smiled and stroked Atsushi's face, seemingly liking the roughness on his part. Atsushi backed away, disgusted by the demon's touch. He asked again.

"Where is he?!"

"Calm down, Acchan. He is alive." Yoshiki snapped his fingers and Atsushi heard Sugizo's voice. He turned around and saw Sugizo crawling on the floor with a hand on his chest. He looked in pain.

"Sugizo!" He rushed to Sugizo and pulled his head on his lap. His chest was bleeding, bringing Atsushi to tears. "What did he do?!"

"A-Atsushi! R-run! J-just run!"

"Don't talk!" Atsushi glared at Yoshiki. "Bastard, I'll kill you! I swear, I will kill you!"

Yoshiki's smile faded. It replaced with a remorseful one as he approached the two. He knelt before them and tried to touch Atsushi's face but he smacked it away. Dejected, Yoshiki grimly added.

"I told you to be careful. I warned you that this would happen. You cannot cheat me, Acchan. You cannot get rid of me."

"What do you want?!" He shouted at Yoshiki, pressing his hand on Sugizo's chest as he barely breathed.

"You already know." Yoshiki's smile returned.

"Just fix him! Fix him!" Atsushi finally ended up crying, holding onto Sugizo for dear life.

"On the condition that you give up."

Atsushi gasped, contemplating the little choices he had. Minako gave up her life so he wouldn't but now he had to do it to save Sugizo. He had no other choice.

Feeling the energy leaving him, Atsushi mumbled weakly. "I'm sorry, Minako."

"A-Atsushi!" Sugizo gasped but Atsushi shushed him.

"It's okay, you're going to be fine. I'm so sorry to put you through this. I really am." Atsushi leaned on his face and kissed Sugizo's forehead, grateful for all the things he did for him.

Looking back up at the demon, he weakly said. "I give up..."

The smile on the demon's face widened as the wound on Sugizo's chest healed in minutes. Sugizo slowly sat up, with his hand on his chest and looked at the demon.

"Took you long enough, you bastard." He muttered and stood up, walking to Yoshiki's side, leaving Atsushi stunned on the floor.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know Atsushi usually looks like the demon type and Yoshiki the sweet innocent type. That's why I decided to do the opposite because, sweet looking ones aren't always sweet. Beneath their childish face, lies a demon.
> 
> Enjoy!


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